The Broken Window

Today, as I waited in between classes and shuffled songs on my iPod, I suddenly heard a great tune with an awesome beat. I thought to myself, I want to learn how to play the drums like that. Then I stopped everything I was doing and paused, a sudden occurrence crossing my mind.

What if we were able to learn everything we wanted to? Can you even begin to imagine what a life that would be?

I sat there, contemplating that perhaps the happiest we can be is when we learn something we have been wanting to. Perhaps some of the greatest fulfillment we can experience here on earth can be in reaching those goals. Not the major ones, like exploring New Zealand for a summer or campaigning for the presidency. I  mean the things we’ve always wanted to know and to learn but have never done, either from laziness or lack of resources. I mean your more achievable goals, like learning to ride a horse, learning to paint, or learning to play those drums. Maybe the satisfaction we love in life comes not from achieving the biggest goals on our agendas, but getting a grasp and experiencing the things we’ve wanted to — the things that seem so near yet so far — yet never have. I encourage everyone, myself included, to write down just a thing or two that you want to achieve before the year ends. And next year, add a small handful of things to your list that you want to learn. Yes, you can lose 10 pounds or commit to spending more time with your family…but what do you want to learn through all that?

It’s cliche, but life goes by so quickly. Please don’t take a year for granted without experiencing the joy and satisfaction that can come from a life where everything we wanted to learn, was.

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College. It takes its toll on all of us.

Just the other day in Target I came across two roommates trying to figure out which dish soap to buy. “Are you sure this is the right one?” the first guy asked credulously, looking at the box.

The second guy answered in frustration, “Dude, it’s the only kind I know how to use!”

Those of us who have experienced the glory and the drudging of college life know that sanity can easily become lost just a few short weeks into a semester.  As the homework piles up and the social life begins to fall down, keeping your priorities straight and your sanity on a leash is something we all struggle with. Personally, I do whatever it takes to remember that report that’s due tomorrow, to take that trip to city hall, and to feed those turtles or else they’ll be used for ashtrays. I use a planner and place stickers on all the super important dates. I wallpaper my room with sticky notes if I’m in a “remember this or die” situation. And I use a dry erase marker to write on my bedroom mirror of things that must be done right now.

So what do you do to stay organized?

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Summertime. I can’t stand it. Not just in the, “O, it’s simply not my favorite season” kind of way; I mean I literally feel terrible in it. Not only does the heat take its toll on me (I prefer 32 degrees), but also the intensity of the sunlight that bothers me so much. I mean, I cannot tolerate direct sunlight for a long period of time before I feel angry and frustrated. Whatever I’m in the middle of, if the sun is shining, my task is going to that much more difficult.

Now flip the coin.

If it’s cloudy outside, I feel like a completely different person — no exaggeration. My mood entirely changes — you almost wouldn’t recognize me. Social situations become so much easier for me to handle. My confidence gets a big boost. I feel creative, energetic, and far more optimistic. I feel like my decision-making is so much better too. I feel like a completely different person on a cloudy/rainy day, and I like who I am when it happens. On those rare days here in Arizona, I think to myself, I wish I could always feel this way, could always stay this way…
On Labor Day, I spent my afternoon high up on a mountaintop where forest abounds and temperatures are 30 degrees cooler. It’s always lovely. But on this particular day, it was clouding over quickly, and when I left a few hours later, the sky was very dark — not a glimpse of direct sunlight could saturate through its denseness. As I rode back down the mountain, 40 mph, windows rolled down and eyes to the skies, I could not remember the last time I felt so well. I thought, This is what my heaven is going to be like. It was perfection, and for the first time in a long time, I felt so much better. It was a mental and emotional boost like I have not felt since I don’t know when. And it was all due to a lack of the very sunlight some people pay to find.

Years ago, when a friend explained to me that some people become so depressed without sunlight in the wintertime that they have to undergo special “light therapy” in order to feel better, I thought that was absurd. I cannot imagine wanting to pay for a therapy that simulates natural sunlight…who could possibly feel good with that? They told me this depressive condition due to the lack of sunlight is called SAD (awwwww) — Seasonal Affective Disorder. Interesting, me thinks, and I forget about it and years pass by.

Recently this interesting disorder (but I can’t call it that!) has been brought to my attention again, but this time a different form was mentioned: Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder. Whoooaaa now, what? Reverse? You mean, like, wait, like, depression and frustration felt in sunlight?

Supposedly, yes, such a thing exists. There are other weirdos out there who not only like a rainy day from time to time, but actually feel better and healthier when such weather occurs. They stay indoors as much as humanly possible, constantly avoid direct sunlight, prefer colder temperatures, and like to climb out of their caves preferably only at night. But is this possible? Is this really a “disorder”? Can there really be other people out there who feel the same way? Take me to their leader!

And no, I don’t sparkle in the sun.